on being ready

the past few weeks have been flying by. i feel like it never really registered that i was flying out until.. oh, 2 days ago? so i've been up packing and trying to figure out what exactly i need without being ridiculous. i'm attempting an all-nighter (so i can pass out on the plane), just like i did the night before i left for greece, but tonight may be a little harder because it's only 3 and i don't have to be anywhere until 8. also, in the midst of packing, i realized all of the stuff i forgot, and the stores that sell them are not open until 9 or so.. of course.

and to get to the real motivation behind this post, i've just been thinking about being ready. i feel like i'm not ready to go and have been thinking "oh, just one more week at home would be perfect." it's hard to leave when i can't bring people i love so much along with me

example:

adorable raiza in this video.
she's only 3 months old and i won't be back for another 6.
she's going to be so different when i get back,
and i hate that i'm missing that.

my heart needs time to catch up with.. well, time. but this is rarely the case and while i've been resentful about it in the past, i suppose i've gained acceptance (and maybe appreciation?) for it.

i remember that being ready was hardly necessary to have the best experience. in fact, our lives would be so different if we were able to dictate when we were ready to take on the next challenge. unfortunately or fortunately, this is not the case. i see it as "fortunately"-- scared and anxious as i am right now.

if anything, in the end, this only makes us braver.

talk to you again when i'm on the other side of the world <3