today, life is

finding a crack in the antique tea cup set i just brought home from england
never seeing my mother ever look so sad
reading my grandmother's handwritten prayers
and crying my eyes out because those worn pieces of paper embody her.

it's realizing that
my favorite cat in the whole world may never come home again
that some friends are only temporary
and that if i ever get married, i'm not sure who my maid of honor would be
so i don't want to get married.

but more importantly it's
letting myself feel,
knowing that these things make me who i am,
and willing my heart to keep going.