a dubrovnik hello

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When I finally arrived in Dubrovnik, I'd been traveling for 20 hours, I'd just missed the bus to my listing, and my backpack had broken the second I got through SFO security (read: I spent a good chunk of those 20 hours "hugging" my backpack because it was unwearable and unsecured).  

I was about to spend the next few weeks on the other side of the world traveling alone. The realist in me was keeping count of the things that had already gone wrong, but the romantic in me had visions of bravery and self discovery akin to my own version of Cheryl's trip on the PCT. This was a new chapter and its entire contents were up to me. 

As fortunate as I'd been to travel to Europe several times before, I still took a moment to think, "Holy shit- I'm in CROATIA." I was a tiny thing in the middle of an ancient world-- nothing I "discovered" would be new except for whatever I could find within me. 

That weighed on me. What was I going to do if I didn't have some big self discovery by the end of this stint? Am I supposed to feel my life changing now? I went to bed late and woke early-- I'd imposed more pressure on myself and I hadn't even left my listing. I got out of bed and stepped onto the balcony. All of my thoughts and plans and ideas of what this was supposed to be didn't mean anything anymore but this-- this in front of me-- was real.

Photo: My first Dubrovnik morning on film.